After a loss
First, breathe. Then read this.
We are sorry. We mean that. The list below is the only one you need this week. It is short on purpose. The big legal and financial things (probate, taxes, the house) can wait two weeks. Almost nothing has to be done today.
If you're reading this in the first 48 hours:
Call the funeral home or hospice if you haven't. Ask one trusted person to come over. Eat something. Sleep if you can. The paperwork will still be here tomorrow, and we will walk you through it then.
Today.
Three things. That's it.
- 01
Call who needs calling. Stop there.
If they died at home and were not in hospice, call 911. If they were in hospice, call the hospice line; they will guide you. If they died in a hospital or care home, the staff handles the immediate steps. After that, the only calls that matter today are: one or two family members, and the funeral home. Everything else can wait. People will understand.
- 02
Pick a funeral home or direct cremation provider.
You don't have to use the one the hospital suggests. Direct cremation runs $895–$2,500. Traditional services run $7,000–$15,000. If your person left no instructions, call two or three places and ask for their itemised price list. They're required by law (the FTC Funeral Rule) to give it to you. We have a guide on how that conversation goes.
Read more → - 03
Get 10–15 certified copies of the death certificate.
You will need them. Bank, brokerage, life insurance, IRA, mortgage, Social Security, the DMV, the IRS. The funeral home usually orders these for you for $15–$25 each. Order more than you think. Photocopies are not accepted by most institutions.
This week.
When you're ready. Probably days 3 through 7.
- 01
Find the will, the life insurance policies, and the password to their phone.
In that order. The will tells you who has legal authority. Life insurance policies pay quickly and help with cash flow. The phone gets you into accounts, contacts, photos, two-factor codes. If you can't get into the phone, the next best thing is the laptop. After that, it's the bank statements.
- 02
Notify Social Security, the bank, and the credit bureaus.
Social Security stops the monthly benefit (and may issue a small one-time payment to a surviving spouse). The bank freezes joint accounts until they see the death certificate. The three credit bureaus mark the file deceased to prevent identity theft. Mail or fax a copy of the death certificate to each: Equifax, Experian, TransUnion.
- 03
Hold off on the big stuff.
Don't sell the car. Don't cancel the credit cards. Don't pay any debts that arrive in the mail until you have spoken to a probate attorney or read our probate guide. Some debts die with the person. Some don't. The rule is: pause first, decide later.
This month.
After the funeral, after the people have gone home, when the silence begins.
- 01
Open probate (or find out you don't have to).
If the estate is small enough (every state has a different threshold, often $50k–$200k) you may skip formal probate. If not, the executor named in the will files at the county probate court. Filing fees are $200–$500. The whole process typically takes 6–18 months. An attorney is not required but is usually worth it.
Read more → - 02
File the final tax return.
There is one final personal income tax return for the year of death. The estate may also need its own return if it earned income during probate. A CPA who has done estate work before charges $300–$1,200. Worth every dollar.
- 03
Take care of yourself.
Grief is not a checklist. It will not stay in the box you've built for it. Most of the people we know found that month two was harder than month one. The casseroles stop, the cards stop, and the silence comes in. If you have any history with depression, see a therapist preemptively. If you don't, see one anyway. It's normal.
Read when you can.
Three guides that go deeper than the list above. Bookmark them. Read them on a slow afternoon, not now.
What to do when someone dies: a 15-step checklist
The longer version of this page. Hour by hour for the first day, day by day for the first week.
The cost of dying in America in 2026
Funeral, cremation, probate, estate fees, plot, casket, headstone. Median prices by region with citations.
How much does cremation actually cost in 2026
Direct cremation, cremation with a service, urns, scattering. What you'll pay and what you can skip.
Questions in the first weeks.
Do I have to use the funeral home the hospital suggested? +
No. The hospital is required to release the body to whichever provider you choose. The provider they suggested may be fine. They may also be twice the price of a direct cremation place ten minutes away. You are allowed to call around. The body can stay in hospital morgue refrigeration for a day or two while you decide.
What about the bills that keep coming in the mail? +
Open them, but don't pay them yet. Most credit-card debt dies with the cardholder unless you co-signed. Some debts have a legitimate claim against the estate, others don't. Until probate is formally open and the executor has notice-of-creditors duty, the safe move is: keep them in a folder, do not pay, do not ignore. A probate attorney sorts this in an afternoon.
How long until I can access their bank account? +
If you were a joint account holder, immediately. Show the death certificate and the bank changes the title. If you were named as a Payable-On-Death (POD) beneficiary, usually within a week of presenting the death certificate. Otherwise, the account is frozen until the probate court issues 'letters testamentary' to the executor, typically 4–8 weeks in.
When is it okay to start with grief support? +
Today, if you want. Many hospices include up to 13 months of bereavement counseling for family members at no cost. Call the hospice that cared for your person and ask, even if some weeks have passed. Outside of hospice, support groups through Compassionate Friends, Soaring Spirits, or your local hospital are usually free. Therapy is paid but covered by most health insurance.
If nobody else has said it yet:
You are doing the right things. You will forget some of them and that's fine. Nothing on this list will be ruined by a delay of a few days. The most important thing today is that you are still here.